Santa's Naughty List: Do's and Don'ts
59By Congalotto
You Have to Match Them Up...Scroll
Do's
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Leave Santa milk and cookies.
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Patiently wait until after Santa leaves your presents.
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Leave the Reindeer Alone.
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Anyone you see "kissing", let it go..
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Go to SLEEP!
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Say "thank you" for the socks, sweaters, and long underwear you get.
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Do good things, to make up for last year.
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Complement your Dad for his Christmas "cheer".
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Lastly..for now....Wait until Mommy and/or Daddy "go to the bathroom".
Don't..'s
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Make a White Russian with the milk.
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Try to follow Santa up the chimney, because "that fat bastard didn't leave a Q-Box". IT HURTS! (how does he DO it?).
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Wait under a pile of snow, on your roof...with your HUNTING LICENSE in hand.
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Tell your dad that you saw her kissing Santa Claus. But...tell Mommy if you see DADDY kissing Santa Clause.
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Before you see what Santa and Mommy do NEXT....
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Look for them when it's friggin cold.
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Wait until the last minute: the 3 nuns, 4 guys in the wheelchairs, and 6 "little old ladies" WERE STANDING ON THAT SIDE OF THE STREET FOR A REASON!....the church is on that side!!!!
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Tell your Dad that his nose is glowing like Rudolf's.
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Rush in, and tell Mommy and Daddy that Santa just left....see number 5.
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Not a "DO" yet, but Don't try to sell Santa weels...or CHAINS for his sleigh...or....OFFER TO BE HIS DIVORCE LAWYER! (If I were a kid...I'd hate to get HALF a toy).
